Wednesday, February 2, 2011

blackout.

James 4:10 "Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor."

such a weird day.
I woke up this morning SO very irritated with a LOT of things. the fact that my classes weren't cancelled, and that my toes were cold, and that I couldn't see anything in my room because the power was out.

classes and parking and professors were so frustrating, although a little lunch break and great conversations with lane, jill and hulia brightened my day, this day just kept being weird.

i'd say the overall theme of my heart today, was selfish.
I am irritated that the power was out for almost 15 hours today, that I had to avoid my home because it was like an icebox. I was irritated and felt completely justified in that. until now.

until walking into my home, with the power back on, and lamps lit.
as i was running a warm bath and soaking my toes and warming myself i thought, Lord i am so lucky to be here now. and so humbled by it.
who am I to have clean warm running water, fuzzy socks, a space heater, fleece blankets, warm food and four walls shielding me from these winds and a roof over my head.
who am I?
why do I feel so entitled. so self absorbed. so okay with complaining when I KNOW i am blatantly turning my soul away from gratitude, and humility and faithfulness, and my calling to be set apart, and joyful in all circumstances.

i have deep relationships, and warmth, and an ABUNDANCE of provision from the Lord.
may i rest in that tonight.
when I lay my head down on my pillow tonight may it be with deep gratitude and with deep brokeness for those so near to me that don't have warmth tonight.
may my heart be broken. truly.
and may my life speak loudly of that brokeness.

so thank you jesus for perspective. for a reminder of how consumed I can be with my own selfishness and how much I need YOU to humble me. daily.


sleep warmly tonight,
marcy

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